With St. Patrick’s Day 2020 coming up, we wanted to make sure you know how you can always score a free drink. We’ve all had that week from hell where nothing goes right. Your alarm doesn’t go off, you forget deodorant, your pants have a hole in them, you stepped in a wet spot with socks on so you decide to wear flip flops, and then you realize that you’re actually wearing two different colored flip flops. Ugh. The only thing that makes a week like that better is a stiff one. But wait! You don’t get paid for another week. Shit! Let us help you out. Here are five great ways to go to a bar and never buy a drink.
Pregame the Party
Check your stash. There’s gotta be some leftover booze chillin’ in the bottom of a bottle, right? Take a few sips before your sober ride arrives, and you’ll be feeling confident when you enter the bar. If you want to keep the party going and have a decent amount of your fave beverage, you could always bring a flask with you and you’ll have a sidekick all night! Are flasks frowned upon at the bar? Probably. Will it be worth it when you feel like you’re living on the edge every time you sneak a swig? Definitely.
Tap Mac
…And we don’t mean hit the ATM for cash because obvi, you’re broke. Tapping Mac is really easy. Go to the bar with your friends and find a well-dressed, well-groomed, good-looking person in the bar with you. That’s Mac. You or one of your friends have to go up to the person of choice and tap them on the shoulder. When they turn around, whoever the elected tapper is says, “Mac?! Is that you?!” Now, the chance that this person’s name is actually Mac is very, very slim, so they’ll look at you in confusion. That’s when you say, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! You look so much like the star athlete, Mac, from my high school. Wow, I’m so embarrassed!” They will be totally flattered, and they’ll want to make you feel better about how freakin’ awkward you just were. Cha ching! Drink. In. Hand.
Make Friends
Though it’s not the norm, it’s completely acceptable to go to the bar and make friends. You don’t need to go to the bar just to pick up chicks or get a dude’s number. Friends will probably be more reliable anyway. Next time you’re at the bar, try and make friends with someone, or even a group of people. We all know that sometimes people are mean, and that’s just fine. If they don’t want to be friends with you, they’re stupid because you’re AMAZING. All you have to do is say “thank u, next” and move on. Becoming friends with the DJ or some of the band members who are playing is the perfect opportunity for making new friends. They’ll love the attention, and once they get to know you they’ll be like, “Omg, where have you been my whole life?!” Instant BFFs. Drunk girls in the bathroom are another solid win. They’ll love complimenting your hair while you ask them where they got their shoes. Next thing you know you’ll be quoting Mean Girls together and living happily ever after. Making friends is a double-win because you’ll have a drink and you don’t have to worry about spending the night alone. You’re welcome.
Enter a Contest
We know that bars don’t normally hold contests every night, but if there’s a contest at your local bar, we suggest you join it. Karaoke contest? Drink some tea and honey and get ready to put on a show! Everyone loves “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey. It doesn’t matter if you’re off key and out of breath. As long as you commit, you have a chance to win. Okay, so you’re not much of a singer. Fine. How about a lip-syncing contest? Don’t even pretend like you don’t look at yourself in the mirror and act out Britney Spears music videos. If she can lip sync, you can, too.
Dance contest? Move over, Chris Brown, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Wear your dancin’ shoes and show the crowd what you’ve got to offer! Wing-eating contest? You better show up hungry (which you probably will cause you’re broke, remember?). Free food is life! Comedy competition? You may be a little rusty, but there are knock-knock jokes that will never get old and will totally kill. Put yourself out there! You never know what could happen, but you’ll have a really good time and it’ll take your mind off the shit week you just had. If you embarrass yourself, just remember you can leave and never have to see any of those people again.
Drink Water
It’s free.
Okay, we’ve given you some really good advice on how to go to a bar and never buy a drink, so now it’s your turn to put your knowledge to the test either on St. Patrick’s Day or any time. How’d you do? Let us know by emailing Spencersblog@spencergifts.com and you may be featured in a future post!
Please drink responsibly and never drink and drive.
